For Potential Clients...

 Hi Friends!

This is a whinge turned public announcement. In list form, because that's how I roll. 

How To NOT Get a First (or second) Date With an Escort... or maybe just me, I can't speak for everyone.

I feel like I say all this a lot - sorry not sorry... but seriously why is this still happening?

• Read the ad, read the website. It's really not hard, and usually it has the information you are looking for. There's going to be pretty pictures, make sure to take a look, but don't get so distracted that you forget to read the provider's information.
  
  Key things to look out for are; their availability, fees, location and services they offer. Once you know these details, you can use it to make an enquiry. Which brings me to my next point...

• Make a proper enquiry. I see it all the time on Twitter especially. Providers are getting tired of "You avail now?", "How much?", "Where are you located?", "Do you offer XYZ?".
  
  Note how the worker wants you to initiate the communication. Do they say to TXT ot email only? If so, don't call. Most providers really appreciate a very brief intro (ie. your name) and your preferred booking date and time. Take into consideration that a lot of workers prefer to book in advance. You can certainly ask if they are available on the day - but don't be surprised if they are not. I know that for myself, I'm more likely to take a same day booking if the enquirer makes an extremely good impression in their first text message... and also assuming I am actually available at the time.
  
  As a matter of fact, if your initial message doesn't contain any of the above, or asks questions that are REALLY OBVIOUSLY in all my advertising and on my website, I won't even bother to reply. I also will never reply to enquiries that are along the lines of "Hi", "Hi, how are you".
  
  I know this might sound strange and you think this is a good way to open the lines of communication, but it's not. You do not need to court us, flirt with us or 'lead up' to asking about a booking. We are professionals and prefer you to get to the point right away. 
  
  
  
• Don't hesitate to give your screening info and make a deposit. I wrote a blog post about this, and it's worth a read because it's very important to us.
  
  We want your business. We have no interest in 'outing' or 'exposing' you, nor do we want to rock up at your house randomly for no reason. We ask you for this information because of our safety. It's as simple as that.
  
  
  
• If you're lucky and smart enough to book in a date, show up on time, with cash, and please, don't haggle or change the length of your booking (unless the provider has time to extend your booking).
  
  We set aside an allotted time slot just for you. We budget and organise our finances based on the appointments we have booked. If you decide to only stay for a half hour when you've booked one hour, you're taking away time where we could have made another booking, and taking away from our planned budgeting.
  
  I get things happen, but if you're not sure how long you want to stay, just pick an amount of time and stick to it. lol. Please don't make changes upon arrival. By all means, if you would like to pay the full amount and leave early, don't feel like you need to stay, but please don't ask for your money back - understand that we can't see others within the time frame we've put aside for you and we need to be paid for that time.
  
  
  
• Wash your butt when you shower. Like, actually, wash your butt! This is a reoccurring theme I hear from many sex workers. Everyone's butt stinks, so don't take this personally.
  
  Letting water run over your butt in the shower is not washing it. You need to lather up and actually get in there - in the crack, you know. While you're there, get under your balls too. There are two main reasons why this is super important. Firstly, we want you to smell fresh and clean when we suck your dick. If that's not reason enough, the second is that it's really embarrassing for you if you leave skid marks on the bed. Not kidding, it happens. Shit happens. And while it's not the end of the world if it does happen, I'm sure you can agree that neither one of us will be totally happy and excited if it happens. 
  
  
• Finally, keep the conversation light, let us know what you like and don't like, and try to avoid mansplaining unless we ask. In most situations, open and clear communication is best. We can often gauge what you like by your reactions, but we aren't mind readers. We won't be mad if you tell us how you like it. This is not an invitation to ask for illegal services, or services that you know we do not offer. A mutually good time is the goal here.
  
  If you've been having a hard time booking an appointment, check how you've been approaching your providers. It can be frustrating for both of us, especially if the initial contact doesn't contain the information we need, but I understand that it might not be common knowledge for potential clients. 
  
  Have a good one, 
  
  Ellie x